Unfair.....Such is life

So I ask out loud..."When is it my turn?" I'm feeling a bit confused right now. I am happy, sad, confused, not quite angry, maybe feeling impatient....why you may ask...? My sister called me last nite to give me the news that she is expecting a baby again. Barely 3 months after her loss, she is blessed with a new baby. Maybe the Stork got us confused??? I'm wondering what I have to do to get pregnant around here??? It is amazing that we have the same genes, have had irregular periods all our lives and she is fertile and I'm not? Who did she talk to that I didn't??? I can't help but to feel frustrated at all of it. I just want to throw my hands up and just forget it all!!! I think i'm going to reconsider taking a trip!!! HAHAHA..... I'm sure i can forget about life when i'm sitting on a beach somewhere drinking a fruity cocktail with a pineapple and an paper umbrella sticking out of it!!! Sure i can pretend that life as i know it, doesn't exist!!! Unfortunately, when running away, you always have to come back.

Of course my sister should be happy, and I do feel bad that I can't be as happy about it as she is. I find it hard simply because of her situation, it isn't the best. If it were better I would be happier for her, I would still be sad because it seems so easy for her and not for me, but I would be more excited with her. I know that God has a great plan, and in time it will be revealed. But for now i want to stew in my funk! =-) I want to pout and kick a rock and dwell a little in the unfairness of it all!

I will pray this baby is healthy and that I can meet her or him in 8-9 months! It never matter what circumstance a baby is born in, they are innocent in all of it, and they should be loved and cherished by all! I know that I will love my niece or nephew with all my heart, I also pray that I can have a baby too, a cousin for him/her to play with too!