Four years ago, at this time, I was sitting in my living room in shock. For I had gotten unexpected news just a few hours earlier. A dear childhood friend had died. He was my age, 26 at that time, and had 2 kids. He was now dead. Died in a horrible car accident caused by a drunk driver. I had not seen much of my friend in the years after high school, but I just knew that our paths would cross at some point, and it would be like we always hung out together & never lost touch. Four years later, it is still hard for me to really believe he is dead. We grew up together just around the corner from each other. There were a bunch of us that grew up together and played together as kids. Summer time was the best...we would all just play games, go swimming, and just be kids together. My friend was always very sweet to me. He was my first crush and the first boy I came to love. He was special. He was always happy, and always smiling. I can't remember that many occasions when he wasn't happy or smiling. When he wasn't, you knew it was serious.
His death hit me hard because dear friends my age are not supposed to die in their 20's. It also hit hard because it was unexpected and I just knew that we would always be in touch. Every time I drove around town, I just knew in the back of my mind, I would run into him again. Now, 4 years later, that will never happen. I have a lot of wonderful memories of us growing up. I could always count on him to make me feel better if i was having a bad day. I know that there was a lot of love between us, even though we never took our friendship to the next level(as much as I or he may have wanted to), I know that out of respect for that friendship, neither of us took that step, no matter how much we flirted with the idea. I will be the first to admit, he was a player... =-P He loved the ladies and the ladies loved him back. But I was one of the very lucky girls in his life to call myself his friend, and he my friend.
During my awkward teenage years, when i was a little on the chubby side and not quite comfortable in my skin, he always made me feel so pretty. I know that thanks to him, I had self-esteem as a teenager. It is always sad to see a ray of sunshine gone from one's life. His pride and his joy were his kids, and it makes me sooo sad to know that his kids didn't have much time with their dad, to know him and enjoy him as so many of us were blessed to have had that with their dad. 4 years later, I can still think of him and smile, for he was a funny guy, but also very sensitive and very sweet. All his family and friends miss him and will always remember him as he was. I am very thankful that I have sooo many wonderful memories of him. I am also one of the few lucky ones who he visits in my dreams. In almost every dream we are kids and having a good time as we all did during our fun filled youth. Gives me comfort to know that where ever he is, he is looking down on all of us who loved him, and he is happy.
I try not to be too sad and remember just the good times we all had. 4 years later, he is really missed by all of us, but he is alive in our hearts and will be for always.
Love you my dear friend, continue to rest in peace....
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